Friday, August 6, 2010

Day 7

If you can at all relate to this:

"The years of coming home from school and wandering from empty room to empty room. I would sit on the beige-velvet couch and stare at the still-life painting . . . I would go into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door, close it, and then open it. Close it. Open it. Eat. I would walk into my mother's bedroom and smell the traces of Joy perfume, open her jewelry drawer, pick up a pair of gold hoop earrings and hold them to my ears. I would smile at myself in the mirror, pretend that I was at a party, say hello and raise my eyebrows."

It continues . . .

"I wanted my mother. I wanted my father to come home for dinner and tell my mother that she was pretty and that he loved her. I wanted my mother to come home for dinner and tell me that I was pretty and that she loved me. I wanted her to tell me that our world was not going to fly apart at any moment and that I could stop trying so hard to be good. "

Or this:

"My mom was sickly . . . so I became a caretaker at an early age. I was cooking Sunday dinners for all of [my dad and five siblings] when I was eight years old. This was the only time I received praise from Daddy, so I did more and more cooking, cleaning, babysitting--waiting like a dry sponge for something to soak up and make me feel useful, valid, like I deserved to be alive . . . I've been taking care of people since I was five years old,  [Don't ask me to take care of myself]. If I have to take care of one more person I am going to crack."

Then buy this book right now! 

I was very apprehensive to read it. The title sounded so cheesy.

What can I say? This book is amazing. Well, it sort of depends on your definition of amazing. I've already burst into tears four times (and I'm only on page 51) it strikes such a cord. Wow, is it helping me evaluate my own relationship with food, love and loss. Please, PLEASE read it, if you're an overeater, or an under-eater or if you've ever turned to food, or any other compulsive behaviors for emotional support. I think it could be a life changer.

I'm going on an internet fast for a few days. I'm going to finish reading this book and this one. I'll be back in a week with a full book report. You should read them too. I mean it. Go to your book store, library, favorite book lover's house and snatch them both up. We'll chat when I get back.