Thursday, August 19, 2010

Day 19

So sorry for the skip in days. I was going to try to post an entry for every day this month but catching up has turned out to be a bit unrealistic, especially this week, which has turned out to be quite the week.

The kids are going back to school in a few days and I am so, so bummed. We've been having such a good time together just being lazy and summery. I'm not ready for it to end not for them or for me. Especially not for me. (Is that a sentence? Hm. It feels like a sentence but I'm pretty sure it's missing a few things.) See! That shows you how totally not ready I am to go back to school. I need at least another month of lazing in the hammock. And not wondering about school type things. Even though I love school, and new school supplies and fall. FALL!

Is there any season more divine?

I'll save my ode's to fall for later. Tonight, I want to give a quick book report.

I'm half way through with Eat, Pray, Love. I've read it before, many years ago, but I don't recall it being quite so meaningful then. Last time I read it I was in a nursing mother stupor. The thought of traveling the world felt like such a foreign concept. All I wanted was some friggen sleep!

Anyway, I am thoroughly enjoying the book this time. Thoroughly. I'm not sure if I share all Elizabeth Gilbert's beliefs but I love her warm, honest prose. And so much of the book is thought provoking. It's forced me to stop and think. Though I think it may have contributed to my over consumption of gelato in Park City.

When Food is Love is really the book I want to write about briefly. I don't want to go into a mountain of details tonight so I'll sum up quickly. I do believe the book to be life changing for me. It was one of the hardest, gut wrenching books for me to read (so much of it rang painfully true) but when I was finished I felt like I had a much clearer understanding of myself and where I would like to be.

So, after much deliberation, I am going to give what Geneen Roth proposes a try. I am going to attempt intuitive eating.


That's right. I am going to eat whatever I want whenever I want to eat it.

No more rules about fruits and vegetables, counting calories or fiber or not eating after seven p.m. I am going to trust my body—double gulp—to tell me what it wants and when.

Sweet Monkey's, I'm having heart palpitations. Do I even dare trust myself with something so daunting when I am such a food freak? I've been carefully monitoring everything I eat for ten years. I could tell you the calorie count on just about any food on this continent.

And I am going to throw caution to the wind and just eat what I want? I feel faint. No more than faint, dizzy, euphoric, absolutely terrified.

I'll explain more on the how's and why's of my decision later. I just shout/squeak/whimper that I am jumping off the edge of the emotional eating roller coaster and I'm hoping/praying for a soft landing.